Happy Friday Ladies! I love Fridays. They are my favorite day of the week because they hold so much promise for the weekend!
I have been debating whether or not to talk about this on the blog, but my great friend Egg, helped me to decide that it is important. I started this blog to write about mine and Clint's lives, our battle with IF, and any other random stuff I wanted to talk about. Blogging is like therapy and I haven't been treating it that way because of worry and being a scaredy-cat.
When we got pregnant, most of my bloggy-friends were/are still dealing with IF and I felt/sometimes feel guilty. I know how hard it is to hear of yet another woman who it worked for this time. It sucks. I didn't want to be that woman who rubbed it in and gloated about all of the symptoms and experiences and heaven forbid I was to complain. Why would I blog about some silly complaint when SOOO many couples have been and still are trying to get pregnant? So, because of that I have kept this blog pretty upbeat. (It actually has been a pretty great pregnancy so far!)
I apologize in advance if my honest experiences offend anyone or make you want to stop reading my blog, but I need to get the goods and bads out of my system and out through my fingers before I explode!
Like I said earlier, this pregnancy has been pretty good. I had constant nausea and bloat, but it is part of it. I never complained about it, I just found what I could eat and pushed through. The past month I have felt great. My energy is back, no headaches, no sickness, (unless I eat something that doesn't agree with Baby F), no bad symptoms.
The past week, I have hit this place that yes things are great, but I am in the in-between stage. My pants aren't fitting right anymore and I'm not big enough for maternity pants. I have also hit the point to where all food is pretty much edible and tolerable for me and that is weird. Being a health nut and personal trainer, I have a responsibility to myself and others I see to keep up a healthy and fit persona. So when a craving hits or I allow myself dessert 3 days in row, I start to feel guilty that I'm slacking! I have a pity party or a little cry and then I think I AM PREGNANT! It is ok for me to splurge a little, since when I am not I RARELY splurge. I also think I need to up my food intake a bit, since the past few days I have been so hungry, but have only eaten what I have brought to the gym with me for the day. So by the time I get home I am HANGRY and need to eat ASAP. I am going to work on this.
I again apologize for the content of this post, and the slight complaining and seriousness. I needed this for me. I need to post about real things going on in Courtney's head. I want to keep all of my readers, but do understand if you think "she is so selfish or how could she complain when she is one of the one's pregnant?!" I have thought that stuff about others too. Pregnancy is such a BLESSING and I wouldn't trade if for anything, but there are ups and downs just like with marriage. I know you wouldn't give up your hubby's for anything, but there are ups and downs that are real and need to be dealt with. This is how I deal.
*I am posting belly pics tomorrow!!!!! You won't believe the difference!
This is your blog and your place to say what's on your mind. Don't censor yourself! You built this space as an outlet, a place to have hope, pain, fear, annoyance, and every other emotion under the sun. You don't suddenly stop experiencing those things just because you hit the pregnancy jackpot!
ReplyDeleteI do know how you feel...sometimes don't write downer posts b/c I worry I'll be letting IFers down by sharing the bad and blah moments. I wish it was all sunshine and unicorns. But it's not, whether or not you are pregnant, there is some sucky, umcomfie stuff to get through in life. But I think we all read each other because we care about each other and want to help & support each other...through the bad and the good. We can't help you unless we hear it all.
We IFers may not understand what you are going through (tho, god willing, we will someday!), but we are here to help you through it. And I betcha all of your preggo readers would appreciate hearing your perspective!
I love you, Bestie! If you lose a few readers by being yourself, so be it. Don't stop being who you are! Let this blog be your safe place.
I agree with Egg! My view is that as a person who lived through IF, I wanted to know all of the aspects of that situation; pregnancy is no different - I want to know all of the aspects so I know what to expect...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you aren't leaving things out - keep it up!
Funny, I have been having the same complaints this last week and have felt the same way about posting them. Glad to hear there is someone else feeling the same way!
ReplyDeleteHow horrible of you to subject us to your whining!! Umm, that was sarcasm because if you hadn't apologized in advance I would not have even thought this post was negative! You're doing great and pregnancy is not always a walk in the park. Bitch all you want, especially if it is as mild as this. :) Can't wait to see those belly pics.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not whiny! Thank you for sharing honestly how you're feeling. I have to echo what Egg says, it's your blog, please don't censor yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am totally negative so often on my blog - it's just what I'm going through right now. There's probably someone out there offended by my negativity, b/c hey, I got pregnant on my first IUI...I'm lucky, right? All that to say, don't feel one bit bad about feeling how you feel, however that is. And please feel free to blog about it!
Can't wait to see your belly shots! I'm sure there's a huge difference by now.
have a great weekend!
If you didn't tell all the goods AND all the bads, this wouldn't be "real life" anymore. No need to filter anything!!!
ReplyDeleteI think there comes a time in pregnancy when the grumpiness just hits. You tell yourself to stay postitive and to 'not get mad over nothing' but it's not possible to reason with yourself! LOL.
I had to laugh about you talking about "eating desserts 3 days in a row"; geez somedays I eat 3 desserts in a single sitting (weakness).
Please don't for one second feel bad about writing about your feelings. That is why you have a blog! And your feelings/concerns are totally normal. You can't expect to have a picture perfect pregnancy just because you wanted it so much. It's just not realistic and this is your place to vent!!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see your belly pics :)
I agree with the rest, this is your blog and you space and it's where you are supposed to write about the good, and sometimes bad. You're still there for us IFfers who are still trying to get our BFP and we want to be there for you too. And if that means us being there when you feel like nothing fits and you feel bad for eating too much dessert then we want to be there for you. Nothing is picture perfect but it doesn't mean you don't enjoy any bit of your pregnancy or that you're not elated for baby to come. I'm sure the feelings are normal. I hope clothes start to fit soon. And don't feel bad about eating a lot or getting bigger, you're still a great example of a healthy pregnant women for everyone at your gym. =)
ReplyDeleteI think that would be a hard balance to maintain. Most people assume pregnancy means eating anything. And being healthy is part of your life and job. I hope that when I get pregnant I can be like you and manage treats while still respecting and caring for the body that my baby is being cared for in.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was TTC it was realy important to me to find blogs which had happy endings to give me hope, so I think you should not be afraid of sharing how you feel. Glad to see things are going well!
ReplyDeleteI had the same fears-- it's hard to celebrate your good news, knowing that so many IFers are still waiting. But rest assured, everyone is absolutely thrilled for you!!!
ReplyDelete