Hurry up and wait.

Hey there.  Good morning to you all.  It feels more like the afternoon to me since I have been up since 4:15am to train a client.  Sometimes the job has its perks and sometimes eh, not so much. 

I am really not sure where this post is going to go.  I really don't have a lot of neato-schmeato things going on as of the last 3 days.  But, let's see.  Maybe I can drum up some excited from my neck of the woods.

I don't know about anyone else that is TTC, but I CAN NOT GET BABY STUFF OFF THE BRAIN!!  If I'm not thinking about practicing getting pregnant, envying someone who is, or wondering what it will be like to see 2 PINK LINES, I am continuing my education on Google Ed., on The NEST or The BUMP, or reading blogs.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.  I am well on my way to being Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.  (totally joking!!)

I am driving myself bonkers.  And all of this waiting.  PLEASE! 

I just finished my last day of my 2nd round of CLOMID 100mg.  It made me considerably more sleepy.  Good thing I took it at night!  Genius genes.

Now we WAIT.....AGAIN.......for Nov. 4th when I go see if the size of my follicles is up to codes.  I am trying to keep myself busy though.

HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF BUSY, COURTNEY??
~Well, since I was asked.  I READ.  A LOT.  I probably read about 2 books a week on average. 

HOW DO YOU HAVE THE TIME TO READ THAT MUCH?
~Most people aren't aware of this, but gyms aren't ALWAYS busy.  Actually, the number of people who come to "sweat our their meanness" (g-ma saying)  dwindles after lunch and people trickle in or not at all.  This is when I read.  I can get in a couple of good hours worth of reading in this time and others that may allow it.

WHAT DO YOU READ??
~Mostly fiction.  Romance fiction.  Some biographies(if they appeal to me).  Blogs count?  Yep.  Right now I am reading a Nora Roberts collection about the MACGREGOR FAMILY.  There are love stories of each member of this clan and how they are all connected.  I love to find out what happens to the "supporting actors."  Don't you wonder, either in books or movies, "well what happens next?"  Do they get married, have kids?  I NEED DETAILS.


WAIT.....YOU WORK IN A GYM.  YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WORK OUT ALL DAY???
~Um. NO!  Trying to get pregnant here, HELLOOOOO.  Lifting weights lowers your body fat, and cardio burns the fat.  I need to hold onto what I've got to have enough hormones to function as a girl should.  Although, I do do cardio for about 30min 3-5 days a week.  This is to keep up my stamina some, plus it KEEPS ME SANE.  I do not do well, without some sort of exercise.  Clint welcomes a wife with happy emotions not one with head biting off tendencies.

WHAT KEEPS YOU BUSY WHEN YOU ARE WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN?


Onto other news, I wrote in another post how I LOVE me some pumpkin.  Well, my mom gave me a couple of little pumpkins to do with whatever.  Since, we already carved our pumkins this past weekend, I decided I would bake them and have fresh pumpkin for my daily dose of oatmeal goodness. 

I got on the web and research the temperature and method of baking the said pumpkins.  There were quite a few ways.

My way.
1. Cut them in half and scrape them out.  (save the seeds if you want, so you can roast them.)
2. Put about 1/2 in water in a baking dish and place the halves (flat side down) into the dish.
3. Put in oven at 375 degrees for about 45 min.  May be longer or shorter.  Keep an eye on it.
4. You will know when it is done, if you smell a little bit of burning(not that that happened to me) or if they collapse.
5.  Take out and take of the skin (it just peeled off for me) and let cool.
6.  Put in air tight container and refridgerate.

My thoughts on the amazing baking pumpkin experience.  Honestly, it was too much trouble, and tasted kind of off.  I would much rather my sweet friend LIBBY.  She NEVER fails me.

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO BAKE PUMPKINS? 
ANY WAYS TO MAKE IT BETTER?

Pumpkin Extravaganza

Good MORNING!!!  I am sitting in my pj's this morning (mismatched of course) trying to figure out where to start this post.  We can get the fun stuff out of the way.

Friday night, after I got off of work we got Subway on the go and made it to the 7:55pm showing of

(picture from http://www.cinemaverdict.com/)

This movie was pretty funny.  Vince Vaughn is in typical Vince Vaughn humor.  The relationship building was dead-on for each couple.  I won't ruin any parts for you if you haven't seen it yet.  I was surprised at the beginning of the movie though and wasn't sure if I was going to make it through.  GO SEE IT.  Or wait until it hits REDBOX(best thing ever!)

Saturday, I went to work and Clint came with me.  (I LOVE THAT!) I trained a couple of clients and did some sweaty-beast cardio and we called it a day.  Why would you call it a day so early??  Well because we had RIBS soaking in a crockpot ready for him to devour and the biggest rival of the season was playing a 2:30pm.

ALABAMA vs. TENNESSEE

Typcially, I piddle around the house a bit and read while watching the games, because us women can multi-task like nobody's biznaz. 

Towards the end we (meaning Clint) was getting a wee bit nervous that TN would come back.  In a .4 sec last chance to kick a field goal, AL blocked another kick.  Making the score 12-10. YIPEEE!!!  Otherwise our house would have been a tidbit full of tension.  Problem avaded.

The we decided to have the 1st ever (I am still surprised we have never done this!) 

PUMPKIN CARVING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

He is really trying to get his creative juices flowing.

Still, lettin them flow.........

And because Mr. Clint thought it would help him in drawing the perfect pumpkin face, he decided to put me into the laundry basket.  Yeppers, those are my legs hanging out!!!

Our finished products!!!!! Can you tell who carved which????

Oh, also during the game yesterday while piddling, reading, and watching I put this together.

Every time I go to a baby tea/shower I make this for the mom to be.  They are always different, but typically the same concept.  This one has 40 diapers individually rolled to make each tier.  Isn't that the cutest thing?!?!  Needless to say I went to a baby tea yesterday.  In case you don't know what a tea is ( I think its a Southern thang!)  It is for a couple of hours and people come and go.  There are usually snacks, cake, sugar, and all of the presents are opened when they are recieved and then displayed on tables for everyone to gauk at. 

Now, we get into the emotional stuff I am dealing with...........

Yesterday morning, getting ready for church,  I was the director of "How many outfits will Courtney try on!"

It was a long long production!  Although, I am not gaining any more weight, all of my clothes are fitting different because well when you stop lifting weights to increase your body fat% your muscles starts to say SAYONARRA!!!!  Well, mine is waving GOOD-BYE!!!  I fought tears all morning.  I had my makeup on already and I was NOT re-doing.  I was quiet all the way to church in fear of losing it. 

Clint had to help with communion so, I sat behind my family (my family pew has 10-12 people on it every Sunday and Clint and I were tired of being sardines!) by myself waiting on him to come sit after he was finished.  During the "meet and greet" my daddy came over and said, "Have I told you how proud I am of you and how much I love you?"  He starts tearing up.  Hold on buddy!!  You better dry up those tears.  I will NOT lose it in church for goodness sakes. 

THEN my mom comes over and hugs me and asks how I am, and I told her about my movie (well pieces of it, since I was choking back alligator tears!)

For the next 10 MINUTES, I couldn't even sing because every time I opened my mouth, I was afraid I would turn into a Weeping willow and not be able to stop. 

I am just so frustrated and upset.  I want this so badly and yet, God is not ready for us to be pregnant.

I am terrified that some old bitty(perfectly acceptable term!) is going to come up to me and say " I see you have put on a few pounds are you pregnant?!?!"  I might just have to kick gramma in her dentures. 

I keep trying to talk to myself (yeah that could become a problem) that this os going to be worth it.  You are preparing your body....yada yada yada.  For the most part, I tell myself that and it works.  But yesterday it was an all day struggle.

ANY THOUGHTS TO HELP A SISTA OUT???

ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLING WITH THESE TYPES OF THINGS OR BAD BODY VIBES??

So for today, I am going to work on being totally postive on things.  I am day 3 of Clomid and no side affects.  Wait, maybe the mood swings?!  But for all I know a mood swing is a symptom for that some other disease that I will Google.  Google is so addicting!!

Have a great day!

Ah Thursday....

SO, today was the day.  The day of testing.  I haven't really slept well the past few nights.  It seems as my mind fails to know how to turn off.   Last night I was so tired and fought tooth and nail not to fall asleep at 7:30pm!!!  I mean come on Gma, wait a little later will ya?  We went to bed about 10:30 after I had dozed in and out of TOP CHEF.  No worries I saw who was booted off and was totally ok with the decision.(I don't want to spoil it for anyone that hasn't watch yet.)  To beat it all, I was sooooo bloated last night, which is a rarity to me too.  All sorts of thoughts going on in this big curly haired head.

I had to get up at 4am this morning to get all of my food ready for the day, eat and drive to the gym for a client at 5:30am this morning.  EAR-LY!!!!!!!!  I waltzed into the bathroom and damaged my retinas to wake myself up with the light.  I mean Hello, this day could have life changing possibilities. 

I peed on that stick.  Oh I did!  And I swear to you that thing turned NEGATIVE almost as soon as I put the thing down "on a flat surface" per instructions.  I am not one to go against instructions of such importancy(is that a word? It is now!) as peeing on a wand. 

Well, (brace yourself for TMI)  the REASON it turned negative is because I started my PERIOD.  Yep that's right.  No fertilized goodness in these here parts, ma'am!  No sirree.

I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't disappointed because believe you me I WAS!!!!!!!
BUT......on another note I STARTED MY PERIOD!!!  I am excited because my body is at its healthy functioning potential.  I CAN GET PREGNANT.  It is just a matter of time.  And that time is not right now.

I called my R.E. this morning to let her know of the events of the morning.  Don't worry....no Rocky Mountain Fever here ladies.  WHEW!!!  She said that we have two choices of upping my dosage of CLOMID and sizing up my follicles on CD14 OR taking the injectables.  Um no thank you......yet!  We will try the pills.  Which increases your chance of multiples.  But who the heck cares.  We will cross that bridge or bridges when we mosey up to them.  For now, I would just like one.  Please.

We have a plan.  Yes we do.  So, on Saturday I will start Clomid for days 3-7 and get down to business.  The business of practicing BEFORE we ovulate, so we will be PERFECT for the release of the chick(s), and just for good measure practice after just in case.  Hey you never know!!!  Good thing I like my husband huh?!  I do know that if it EVER starts to become a tedious act to practice baby making, me and Mr. C will need to have a talk.  It should never be some meaningless task.

So, Clint will give his soldiers a peptalk and prepare to storm the Bastille.  And I will take my Egg Miracle Grow and get ready for a release!!! 

On to CYCLE #10!!!!!!

Jousting

October 20th already????  Sheesh! Where did October go??  My calendar seemed to have swallowed it up.  It has been a gaw-geous day out today!  The leaves are starting to turn those rich vibrant colors that SQUEAL Fall!  Love it!

Other news on Channel TRWT, we are 12 DPO (12 days past since the egg should have left the shoot).  I am supposed to take a pregnancy test on Thursday to see if this cycle was a baby making success.  I am excited for it to come, BUT I am so nervous and scared, that I just might pee my pants before I pee on a stick.  I mean so scared that I want to prolong taking a test.  I don't want to be disappointed, but I want to know.  It feels like a complicated jousting match with Blaze from THE Original American Gladiators show fighting these feelings of "Do I test?  Wait another day?"

Isn't that a great picture!  So loved 1989.  Momentary moment of silence..............

Ok that's good.  Returning back to that derailed train of thought. 

Are anyone else's thoughts so deadgum fast that you forget where in the world you started?? 

Well, speaking from experience it is kind of exhausting chasing trains here and there.

Moral of the random post.....I am scared of Thursday.  I know I need to test, but I keep thinking what if its neggy??  My day will be doom and gloom and Negative nina WILL be stealing the show for the day.  I know that it is very possible it will be negative.  I KNOW THAT.  I know that even healthy little eggs and swimmers only have a 20% chance of meeting and consummating the relationship, BUT I can't shake this feeling. 

Of course, I have received my Ph.D in GoogleScience and apparently every symptom known to man can be chalked up to being pregnant.  So who the heck knows for sure.  Symptoms are crap and for 4 days I have been diagnosing myself with everything from a cold to Rocky mountain fever. 

I GIVE UP!!!

I will test Thursday, because the nurse told me to.  (That is written in tablets from Moses somewhere.  I know it!) Also, I want to know.  Hey it COULD be TWO PINK LINES.  Fingers crosssed.  (Make that toes, eyes, hair, and anything else that can be crossed.)

Ever been scared to test????

Getaway

Hey ya!!  I hope your weekends were full of great times or lazy days.  Either way its a win win. 

Well our weekend was full of interesting moments as we went

CAMPING!!!

We have been camping with the same couple and brother for the last year and they have become family.  We love sitting by the fire and talking, making fun of each other, and eating of course.  You can't go camping and not eat a lot and not as healthy as you typically would.  It's CAMPING.  What else are you going to do?!?!? 

Here is a picture story for your enjoyment.  Please beware.......You will see wild animals, no makeup bandits, hooded lumberjacks and creeps in the woods.  Pretty scary huh?!?!? 

Daisy didn't want mom and dad to leave her!

Where we got away.

Man build fire!  Hoogabooga

Setting up our friend's tent for him.  They wanted to put it in the water puddle.

FIRE SUCCESSFUL!

Figuring out the $12 coffeemaker.  I'm rustic but not about coffee.

It is only 45 degrees and I froze.  I have 3 pairs of socks on, 2 shirts and a sweatshirt, a pair of tights, a pair of pants, and sweat pants.  Me and cold weather are not friends.  The boys said my book was my Lionel blanket.  I didn't go anywhere with out my book.

That is some beautiful stuff!

I promise this is our food and not him stealing from another campfire.  Although it looks like it.

He is so strong he tore this tree out of the ground. See the roots.  Well, actually it didn't happen like that.

Trail walking.

Walking to a flea market that was on the highway.  The walk was longer than we thought, but it did make my feet warm.

I was the woman in charge of smores.  You can't go camping without them right?!?!

Before I left on Friday I was eating my oatmeal, sippin some coffee, and catching up on GR(google reader) and I was shocked and amazed the see I had been awarded my first bloggy award from the faboulous Skinny Menny!

She awarded me with this amazing

AWARD.

I was extremeley excited and in shock.  As soon as Clint woke up, I had to share it with him.  It is scary putting your thoughts, relationships, and sex life out there for anyone to read.  So getting this made spilling my guts worth it.  By accepting the award I have to answer the following questions.  Here we go.

1.Where is your cell phone? ottoman

2.Your hair? ponytail
3. Your mother? controlling
4. Your father? loving
5. Your favorite food? peanut butter
6. Your dream last night?nada
7. Your favorite drink? michelob ultra
8. Your dream/goal? content
9. What room are you in? living room
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? a mama
13. Where were you last night? camping
14. Something you aren’t? selfish
15. Muffins? nah
16. Wish list item? baby
17. Where did you grow up? Tennesee
18. Last thing you did? snack
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Your TV? on
21. Your pets? sleeping
22. Your friends?
23. Your life? happy
24. Your mood? relaxed
25. Missing someone? best friend
27. Something you’re not wearing? makeup
28. Your favorite store? bookstore
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. When was the last time you laughed? 10 min
31. Last time you cried? last week
32. Best Friend? Clint
33. One place that I go over and over again? Wal-mart
34. One person who emails me regularly? Boss
35. Favorite place to eat? home

Alright, time to call it a night.  Camping and shivering wears you plum out. 

The man in my life.

Clint,

I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart.  I have never in my life been so happy with any one. You are an amazing man, husband and friend that I can not imagine my life without you.  God definately had a hand in placing you in my life at the best time for both of us.  We needed to go through so many things before he opened our eyes to the best love of our lives.  Those struggles made us who we are, so we can trudge through obstacles together.


This is one of our obstacles. 

I know the last few months, well 9, have been just as difficult for you as they have been for me (maybe more!).  You have no control over the situation (well you do AMAZING with some parts...) but feel helpless with everything else. 

Sunday, when we were keeping the nursery at church, it did two things to me.

1. It made my heart swell with happiness to see you playing with the little monkeys.  You are so good with them and it just comes natural to you.   
2. It made my heart break.  I want to be able to give you a child, our child, one day and at times I feel like I am failing you.  (I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, but it feels like it sometimes.) 

You are going to be such a great daddy! 

Making a baby is, and should be, such an amazing act of love and God's power.  When you break down the process, there is such a SMALL LITTLE WINDOW of OPPORTUNITY to get pregnant and timing is everything!!  It can only be defined as a miracle.

I never had my AHA! moment until a few days ago.  I didn't understand why girls/women could have sex ONE TIME and get pregnant.  It made me angry and jealous.  The only answer for that is it was THEIR time.  That baby was meant to be made at that exact moment in time for them for whatever the circumstance.  

I have taken all of that for granted.  Making life is so extremely precious.  After I finally GOT IT, I have had this overwhelming peace about things.  (I am choking back tears as I type this.  Its that kind of moment!) 

Although things are looking promising this cycle and I pray every day that your soldiers attacked my egg  like a SPARTAN, I am ok if this cycle is not our time.  I believe with all my heart that we WILL be parents when it is OUR PERFECT MOMENT!!

We won't take it for granted either, because that baby will be made out of such love and respect, tears and guilt.

IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!!!

I love you!

Don't ask unless you REALLY want to know!!

Hello there!  Merry Fall Tuesday.  I am feeling tons better since my upsetting Sunday and put away Debbie Downer.  After, Clint put things in a better perspective for me I was able to accept it.  He kept saying, "this is their journey and it was time for them, but our journey is ours and our time will come.  Your temperature has been up and that's exciting for us."  Catch me as my heart melts.  He is amazing at helping me focus on truth.  (I am one lucky chickadee.)  Focusing on truth was a concept I learned in therapy and it works so well for me. 

The concept of truth is after you have a negative thought, you should STOP and THINK, "is this true or false?" 
Ex.  "I FEEL FAT."  Now, you think AM I REALLY?  Do I look any different from yesterday??  Do my close fit tighter??  NOPE!!!
9 times out of 10 truth defeats the crazies in your head. 

Next time you have negative nina thoughts, STOP and THINK......Now is that really true???

I have to tell you a story that I think is hysterical and would only happen to me.
At the gym last night I was winding down the night and a member's husband had just joined a few days ago and was finished waiting on his wife. He asked if I work out all the time and I said not really anymore.  I was leery about telling him about why I haven't been working out. I mean he is a stranger and a lot of our family and friends don't even know we are struggling in the baby making realm. 
Well, he opened the fertiilty door by saying they have been trying to get pregnant again since 4 years ago they had a miscarriage. He precedes to tell me about his SPERM COUNT!!!  and that it has gotten worse so he needed to lose some weight.  EXCUSE ME?????  You didn't just discuss your wounded soldiers to me did you??  I was inwardly laughing me bootay off b/c it was the oddest thing to be talking to a random man about his low sperm count. Come to find out his  Dr. put him on CLOMID. Um...we take the same medicine??  Well, then I had to tell him we take the same MEDS!!! HAHAHAHA
Clint thought it was kinda disturbing for a man, a random man, to be talking to HIS wife about his sperm. In a way I think it is weird and also neat to hear from a man's perspective with it being his "fault" that they can't get pregnant. Crazy. Apparently I had the "SHARE YOUR HEART WITH COURTNEY" slogan on my forehead. ( you know how you ask a checker in Walmart how they are and they ACTUALLY proceed to tell you, when all you were doing was being polite! jeez)

I am weirded out and glad I was there to listen to his frustrations and share mine.  I feel that there is a reason and time for everything and apparently last night was time for SPERM TALK.

Have you ever been polite in asking how someone was and they ACTUALLY told you??
Do you feel like you are put in certain situations for a reason.

Must be in the water!

I am having a hard day today.  I have a pretty positive outlook on life.... most of the time.  It has been super hard today.  At church this morning we found out one of our friends are pregnant with twins and another couple is pregnant as well.  That makes 5!!!  I am a little discouraged.  Especially since the situations were "oopsyies" or the first month off BCP. WHAT??  You have GOT to be kidding me?

AHHHHHHHHH.  I did have a good cryfest today and now I am dealing with it the best way I know how.  That is to be content in our journey.  I am SO SO happy and excited for everyone, we just want it for us too.

I have definately had better days.

GOTS TO GO PRACTICE!  Can't stop that!

Spikey Spikey!

I HAD A TEMPERATURE SPIKE this morning.  I know that temperature charting is not ALL that reliable, but I had a significant spike this morning.  WE HAVE A SURGE LADIES!!!!  It has been about 36 hours since my HCG trigger shot and the nurse and all the "intelligent" research I did on GOOGLE, says the shot works anywhere from 24-48 hours. 

You know what that means??!?!?! 

Beo-chicka-wow-wow(insert my best sexy music...whatever!)

Not that that mattersin the slightest, because I haven't been able to keep my hands off Clint for the last 12 days.  Poor guy!  (sike!) Yeah I said sike!

Hey practice makes perfect and I AM A PERFECTIONIST!!!!!

I have a busy busy Saturday so I will report back later on.  I am even going to take pictures today!  I know I am getting crazy on this blog!  Watch yo-self!

Have a great Saturday.

No surge in my circuit

Hey there!  I hope the past few days have been stupendous for you.  Mine have been pretty good.  Thanks for asking.  We have had some new members join the gym and I have acquired some new clients.  YAY! 

Training has high and low months.  Usually July, August, and September are slow for me because people spend their money and time on vacations.  Also, schools start and that means teachers are crazy busy and parents turn into taxi drivers.

The end of the year and first of the year are my high months.  For obvious reasons.  I love it.  I love when people are excited about changing their lives.  It definately makes my day and I know that I am doing what I love in life as a career.  Even if a client needs to train at 6:30 AM!!!  (Like this morning.)

As I wrote in one of my previous posts, Clint and I "gamble" on football games each weekend.  College football on Saturday and NFL on Sunday.  I actually look towards to Thursdays.  That is when the SCOREBOARD is put in the paper that we can pick games.  Some weeks we have just bet winners and some we have played the LINE.  This was all (and still is) a little confusing to me.  Clint had to break it all down for home girl real simple like!  (He actually broke it down about 6 times BEFORE I got it. )  Here is an example of what the scoreboard we pick from.

NFL Lines For Week 5 - NFL Football Line Week Five
NFL Line 10/11 - 10/12, 2009
Date & Time Favorite Line Underdog Total
10/11 1:00 ET Minnesota -10 At St. Louis 41
10/11 1:00 ET Dallas -8 At Kansas City 42.5
10/11 1:00 ET At Carolina -3.5 Washington 37.5
10/11 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -15 Tampa Bay 42.5
10/11 1:00 ET At NY Giants -15 Oakland 38
10/11 1:00 ET At Buffalo -6 Cleveland 40.5
10/11 1:00 ET At Baltimore -8.5 Cincinnati 42
10/11 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -10.5 At Detroit 44
10/11 4:05 ET At San Francisco -2.5 Atlanta 40.5
10/11 4:15 ET New England -3 At Denver 41
10/11 4:15 ET At Arizona -5.5 Houston 50
10/11 4:15 ET At Seattle -1 Jacksonville Off
10/11 8:20 ET Indianapolis -3.5 At Tennessee 46
Monday Night Football Line
10/12 8:35 ET NY Jets -1.5- At Miami 36.5

*the bold is the LINE*
The LINE-  it gives the UNDERDOG a handicap and puts them on even playing fields.
 
Last week, I LOST.  Big time.  We didn't even have to watch like 5 of the games on Sunday because there was NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH I COULD WIN! 
CRAP!!
So, this week I have to wash all of Clint's dishes that he uses each day.  (He likes to take the same dishes and he has 3 "shakers" that he drinks protein and lifting supplements out of.)

I HATE TO LOSE!  I have this chore to do for 5 nights.  It might not seem bad, but once I start washing I can't just leave the other dishes that have been dirtied by me or from dinner.  So, I wash them all.   I know I could put them in the dishwasher, but silly me THINKS that I can stop myself at washing just Clint's dishes.  WRONG!!!  I can't help myself.  Therefore, I "punish" myself more that I really should.

EVER LOST A BET??
WHAT WAS THE WAGER?
 
Onto bigger biz-nass.  Since I didn't SURGE yesterday or today, I had to go back to the R.E. this morning for another ultrasound so see if my follicles are getting big and strong.  I have been charting my temperature each morning, but my body is so sporadic, there is no way I am trusting those decimal points.
 
The staff was quicker this morning coming in to the frigid room of doom.  I was prepared though with a fleece and tote and Nora in my lap.  Low and behold I only got to read 2 pages.  DANG IT!  It was getting good too. 

A NEW lady walks in.  I mean come on how many people work in the office and will get to see my insides???  That makes 3!

She kind of sounded disappointed when she told me my follicle had moved up to 16mm.  I was thinking "heck yeah" we have progress.  She was not very thrilled.  (Hey lady.....PROGRESS IS GREAT!!)

I get my draws back on and head out to the the mini waiting room for the nurse to come get me. 

We go to a little room where she tells me I am going to get a HCG shot to make me ovulate.  WHAT???  I didn't sign up for no shot!!  (SCAREDY CAT HERE.  YEAH ME!)
She pulls out this little suringe and says "come over here and raise your shirt.  This is going in your belly."  HUH?!?!  NO WAY!  Uh unh.  Well, after my 2 second temper tantrum, I come back to reality and mosey on over to get the shot to the belly.

It wasn't that bad.  A little sting, but eh not so bad.

This will make me (or supposed to) ovulate in the next 36 ish hours.  FINGERS CROSSED!  I will then take a test in 2 weeks to see if our "practice" makes perfect.

I am hopeful.  Even so, I am blessed and this will all be worth it in the end.  (repeating that over and over in my head!)

WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN HARD IN YOUR LIFE, BUT WORTH GOING THROUGH IN THE END??

Bring a friend to the appt. day!

Hiya.  Today is dreary and chilly out.  Sweater weather fo sho! 

It has been an early start this morning and is bound to be a long day with today being a busy training day.  I do wish Mr. Sunshine will grace us with his presence but I am doubting it.

Alright on to business.  I had my R.E. appt this morning.  I got there about 10 min early.  I went by myself, because I told Clint it would be silly for him to come from work for the 30 min appt.  My mom offered to come but I told her to just go to her Tuesday morning Bible study and I would let her know the details after.  Such love! 

I did bring my good friend, Nora Roberts with me though.  She has helped relax me a lot of times and I usually don't go go ANY WHERE without a book stuffed in my purse.  Hey, you never know when you will be stuck in line somewhere and can get in a few pages. 

Nora comforted me until my name was called.  (Well, she tried.  I think I read the same page 4 times.  My mind would not focus on the romance at hand. 

The nurse calls me back and checks my wrist band.  Yes we have a wrist band that has our name, DOB, and some serial number.  No, it is not a band to ride all of the fun rides at the fair.  It is a nerve wracking ride in a small room that is all of about 27.5 degrees.  While, might I add, you sit on this chair with stirrups and naked as a jaybird with the oversized bounty napkin drapped on you. 

I undress and neatly fold up my jeans and cover up my prettiest undies (you know you wear the good ones cover them too, right???) So I am sitting there, thinking it doesn't take me long to change so hey should be in here in about 5 min.  Of course Nora is sitting in the chair out of reach grinning at me.  I didn't want to get off the chair to get her because I know with my luck that my doc would pick that time to walk in and  catch me back-side naked grabbing my book out of the chair. 

I sat. And sat.  And sat.  Twenty min sitting in that cold room freezing my jaybird feathers off is NOT fun.

The nurse practioner, whom I don't know from EVE, walks in and is about to become very intimate with me.  I was a WEEEE bit uncomfortable. 

Enough of the descriptive situation.  (sorry if it was TMI)  All in all,  good things were said of today.  I am on cycle day 13 which is a little early.  We were looking for size 18 follicles and mine are 15.5.  YES!

They were very postive about the looks of things.  The nurse wants me to start doing the ovulation prediction kit for the next 2 days and if I haven't "surged" (her words) to come back Thursday for another ultrasound. 

The mantra of the next two days is "big surge, big surge, no whammie, no whammies!"  I will keep you posted on if I surge or not.

Either way,  it is GAME ON with the husband.  There is always a CHANCE before the surge or after.  I would HATE to miss an opportunity.  Plus, I HIGHLY doubt Clint is going to mind!!!

Does anyone know of ways to bring on the surge ( I love this term!) ??
I have heard of pineapple core and raspberry tea.  But who knows if they REALLY work!
Do you have crazy/weird experiences with "girl doctor"??

Oh the little things.

Good Monday morning.   I hope your morning is going well so far.  Mine eh not so bad.   I started it with coffee and pumpkin oats.  (Shocker!)  They were so yummy on this chilly, cloudy October 5th.

I was making my food up for the day and opened the fridge and the glass jar of organic preserves crashed to the floor.  I hurried to scoop up the raining in the jar that was salvageable.  I managed to save 3/4 of the jar.  Thank goodness.  I mean how am I supposed to make my standard snack of PB and J without the J??  I was glad that our girls were outside when I dropped it so they didn't get glasses in their little paws.

Today, I am heading to a health expo at a middle school in town.  This week is Child Health Week in Tennessee. It is going to :focus on childhood obesity, while highlighting ways for our children and families to make healthy eating choices, engage in physical activity, and learn ways of protecting their safety."

I am an avid supporter of this week.  There are way TOO many overweight kids in this country.  It breaks my heart to see them.  We know a few 2 year olds that could pass for 4 year olds.  It just doesn't seem right.  Healthy kids start with healthy parents.  I will be so glad when parents realize they are the example for their kids and have the control to promote healthy lifestyles.  I understand sometimes it seems "easier" to stop at fast food places and to console hungry munchkins and get them whatever they want just to get them to stop screaming.  I also understand that it is just as easy and cheaper in the long run to mass prepare snacks and dinners.  Ok enough ranting about this.  Onto other ranting topics.

Has anyone watched the Duggers?  They are the couple that is on their 19th child.  19!!  I feel like people who continue to have that many children are like really good sports teams that keep running the score up on the not so good teams.  (blows my whistle!!)  Unsportsmanlike behavior.

What about us who would just like to have 1?!?!?!  Come ONNN!!! 

I am going for an ultrasound tomorrow to see the size of my follicle(s) and lining thickness.  I don't know what to expect!  I don't know what a good size follicle is or how thick thick is.
Anyone had to go through this??
What should I expect to be good??

I am nervous.  I'm not going to lie and say I am not.  I hope I either have or am about to ovulate.  That would be GREAAATTTTT!!

Guess who?

The pumpkin has made a daily appearance in my life the past few days and I couldn't be happier.  It is like fall in your mouth.  Love love love you mr. pun-kin!

Last night was DATE night.  We try to get a date night once a week.  We think it is important to get out and go somewhere just the two of us. 

Our wild and crazy night started out with a little of this.

And finished with this.

We get wild and craazzzyyyy on date night.  Honestly, it doesn't matter what we do on date night.  It is about the experience and the one you are with.

Have you had a date night lately??

Thursday night, I was training one of my clients and we were talking about her family and how busy her life is.  Some sessions are light conversation and some are of a more serious nature with her.  We were talking about how she wears many many hats. (wife, mom, taxi driver, errand runner, school function supporter, laundromat worker, cook)  I'm sure there are more.  The point of the conversation was that she has no idea who SHE is anymore.  This is one of the reasons she put on weight during pregnancies and never lost it. (her kids are teenagers)  I had to help her understand that she won't be truly happy until SHE is truly happy and find out who she is again.  This is easier said than done though.  Especially since her kids and husband NEED her so much.

I can relate to her because I am in the stage of my life where I am really figuring out who Courtney is.  For 26 years of my life I let everyone around me decide things for me because it was easier for me to let them decide and keep the peace.  I am a peace keeper and don't like to ruffle feathers. 

When I started going to therapy, she would have me do an exercise in choosing things I like.  I was stumped.  It had been so long that  I had no clue of how to begin to decide on things I liked.  Clint was involved by helping me and sometimes making me decide on things (big or small).  It was hard.  I didn't want to make a decision and then disappoint someone because that isn't what they wanted to do.

Over time, I am finding out things that I like and don't like and not feeling sorry for it.  Don't get me wrong sometimes it is hard for me to still pick things and Clint does get frustrated ( he has to decide most things because I am stubborn and have NO opinion).  I just take a step back, analyze the situation and ask myself "what do you want?"  Sometimes I find out and sometimes I go with the flow.

I am so much happier knowing that I have the power inside of me to decide what I like and dislike.  I don't have to be sorry for it.  I don't have to change my mind.  Although, I can and most of the time compromise about things, I CAN make a decision.

I love who I am.  Quirks, indecisiveness, and imperfections.  Its ME.

Do you know who you truly are?

Are you a decision maker?

Oh Libby!

The week is almost over!  WOOT WOOT!!!  I am loving the fall weather we are having.  I am getting in to the spirit of fall for sure these days. 
The other day I went to get some canned pumpkin and low and behold, there was not a CAN ON THE SHELF.  What!! how is that possible??  But its FALL.  Hasn't anyone at the particular Wal-mart that I went to extremely excited about pumpkin even LOOKED at the calendar!!!  Sheesh.

Alas, I went today on this grand 1st day of October and there was a FULLY stocked section of big AND small cans of the glorious pumpkin. 

(The evil eyes I gave to the empty shelf the other day, must have been noticed and they got on that shipment STAT!)  Probably not.  Hey, I can hope that my evil stare has that much power.

Not only did I get pumpkin, but Clint said "hey why don't you use that pumpkin for something in your supper tonight and I'll just cook up the pork chops I laid out this morning for me?"  THIS MAN WAS SENT FROM HEAVEN.  Don't think I didn't squeal in delight clap my hands.  (Think "Hercules, Hercules" hand clapping)

I am not sure what I will make with my manna from Heaven tonight, but I can not wait.

I was able to run a very sweaty 5.41 miles on the treadmill earlier today.  I'm not a huge fan of the T-mill, but when you live at the gym all day, its not like you can just take off and run outside.  Oh, but I can dream that I was running this scenic route in the fabulous 75 degree weather.

Onto bigger news.......my mother-in-law is moving in with us in 2 weeks.  Now I love my mother-in-law.  She is quirky and fun and could care less what ANYONE thinks about her.  Its just that selfishly I love having Clint to myself (with the exception of a baby of course) and the routine we have.  With her moving in, it is going to change the entire dynamic that we have set in place after 1.5 years. 

I am trying to not stress about things.  My personality stresses so much over so many things that I DON'T EVEN KNOW I AM STRESSING.  I have been physically preparing her room this week moving boxes out of it. (it has been a "just put it in the back room"  type of room)  I have also been TRYING to mentally prepare and not let the stress overwhelm my body.  Stress is not good for my hormones. 

When I have been driving back and forth to work, I have turned off the radio and just been using that time to think and pray about the situation and saying this is going to work out for the best.

I know God is teaching me something.  I just wish I knew what. 

What would you do in my situation??

How would you deal with this added roommate???