MIA blogger!

Hey ya.  I have been neglecting you, my bloggy friends!  I am so sorry.  The holidays definately TAKE over your life.  It doesn't just last for one day either.  People just have to have one more get together or you need to see one more family member.  Whew!  As much as I LOVE Christmas, I am glad it is once a year.  It is like a tornado whisks you away and then drops you back into your house with presents, wrapping paper, dirty dishes, and merry decor that got there somehow.  I need an elf to come and de-tornado our house.  (Note to Self: Ask Santa for a clean up ELF crew!)

I just hope this ELF doesn't get dropped off.  The thought of spaghetti and syrup with a sprinkle of candy makes me want to yack!!

We survived the Christmas season, with great times with family,gifts given and received and a 4 day run of the yacks for me. Who could ask for more?!?!? 

I do have a story that I never thought I would have in my life folder of "Courtney's stories."  We have Clint's family over to our house for Christmas day lunch and his cousin and her hubs came.  Now, it has been YEARS since Clint and cuz have seen each other, so this was the first time to meet her.  She came right in like she knew me and gave me a hug.  SOLD!!  I am a huge hugger and I knew I liked her from the start. 
We all started eating and everyone was yapping about this and that.  Cuz was at our dining table with Clint's gramma and some others and I heard her talking.  Well, honestly when I heard her say "endometriosis", my ears perked up and I started to "really listen." 

From what I heard her say, she and hubs have been trying to conceive for years.  She has a blocked fallopian tube and the docs say the ONLY way she can get pregnant is though IVF.  They are saving money for that, but she doesn't know. 

Right then and there my heart slammed to my xmas socked covered feet.  I WAS THE "OTHER WOMAN."  I had become that woman that I was so jealous of.  Here I am so excited about our blessing, that I didn't think what our joy could be doing to her. 

I caught her going to the bathroom (perfect timing I know) and apologized right there.  I told her how sorry I was, because I know how hard it is to be around the "pregnancy joy."  She hugged me and said "I'm ok with it.  I have accepted it.  Don't be sorry."  After that we started sharing doctor stories and all was good. 

I learned something though.  I will not forget what we have struggled through.  Yes we are so overjoyed and blessed for our Baby Bug but I am still going to be conscience of other women around me.  I won't be able to tip toe around everyone I come in contact with, but I can be aware! 

IF is hard and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!!

Merry Xmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

I love it.  This is my favorite time of the year, except for my birthday.  Hey, it's self-love!!  I will recap the holiday adventures of the next couple of days in my next post! Busy busy bees.  It does drain me more so now though.  Cleaning the house this morning was a doozy!!!

Ok on to the 9 weeker updater!!!

How far along: 9 weeks today.


How big is baby?  Our little one is the size of a medium green olive and about 0.1oz.


Symptoms: All day nausea, exhausted, NO AFTERNOON SICKNESS WOOT WOOT!!, hungry, sore boobs, and OMG the BLOAT!!


Total weight gain: 3lbs



Maternity clothes: Not quite.  I feel like they would be more comfortable, but I would't fit into them yet.  My sis is going to let me borrow some of her jeans.  I love freebies.


Stretch marks: Nope.



Sleep: I am still exhausted, but sleep has become harder to come by.  I just can't fall asleep and when I do I am awakened by my friendly bladder.  I'm talking 4 times a night.  And to thing it gets worse!

Best moment last week: Realizing it is ok to gain weight and to enjoy every minute!



Movement: Still really gassy!  Got to love it!



Food cravings: Anything with salt or crunchy. Crackers, pickles, bread, cereal. I am a carb lovin mama these days. SAME THINGS.  Although, sweets are coming back into the picture!



Belly Button in or out: In!



What I miss: Nothing!  Still cherishing every minute I can!



What I am looking forward to: A real baby bump would be nice!!



Milestones: We are now into fetus-hood!!



How is daddy? He is fabulous.  He is going to be a great daddy.  He is really taking care of me!

8 week 3 day Quiz

Hi lovelys!  Sorry I haven't posted since Tuesday.  Our little kidney bean has been making mama sick! He/she wants me to eat, but then can't seem to keep things down. Anyway, I saw this quiz on a blog that I started reading a while ago that had a huge impact on my heart.  She did this update every week and I added a few things. I am a few days behind, but my plan is to do it at the start of each week.

How far along: 8 weeks 3 days

Symptoms: All day nausea, exhausted, just started having "afternoon sickness", bloated


Total weight gain: 2lbs

Maternity clothes: Not yet, although my jeans are a little snug.

Stretch marks: Nope.

Sleep: I sleep like a rock.  It is such a deep sleep that when I fall asleep on the couch at night Clint has to repeatedly try to wake me.  I sleep until about 4am each morning and have to go pee.
Best moment last week:

Movement: Does gas count?

Food cravings: Anything with salt or crunchy.  Crackers, pickles, bread, cereal.  I am a carb lovin mama these days.

Belly Button in or out: In!

What I miss: Nothing so far.  I am loving every minute.

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to Christmas this week.  It is my favorite day of the year.

Milestones:No big milestones yet.

How is daddy? He is great. So excited.  Each week he informs me of what is happening with our baby's growth and he even puts it on his facebook status!  Gotta love it!

Tuesday. The day after Monday.

Hi chicas.
 I have never been much of a fan of Tuesdays.  Of course Mondays are never fun. Wednesdays are Hump day and the week is on the down slope.  Thursdays are almost Friday.  Fridays, well they are FRIDAYS.  But Tuesdays (bleh) are still going up hill in the week and seem to be the one day when you have nothing to look forward to. 

I am having a Bleh day.  Today is my 13 hour day and my pregnancy symptoms are in full force.(bring em on!) 
UNTIL my BFF, Egg, gave me the VALUED BLOGGER AWARD.

This gave me the biggest smile and made my day.  I am thrilled to get this award.
Thank you, Egg!!! I appreciate you so much.  You are my BFF/sista and I couldn't make it through my days without your support and friendship. (whew sappy and emotional on my road today!)  You are "sucha" beautiful woman inside and out!  You kind words on your post, had me with big ole alligator tears. 

Here are the rules to this awardy!
1. Tell your readers how your journey into blogging began. Be as verbose or shy as you like.
Well,  after we got married, I was a frequent stalker/sometimes poster on The Nest.  I typically go through phases and this phase was message board for What's Cooking.  A lot of these women had started these things called Blogs where they would post all of these recipes and pictures of foods.  I started looking at all of them and thinking wow!  how cool to be able to do that.  I didn't think my cooking (although I can cook and bake some southern food like nobody's business) was good enough to be put on a blog for everyone to look at or heaven forbid comment. 

My next phase was all of the health blogs on top of all of the cooking blogs.  These were blogs that focused on eating healthy, working out, but living a balanced life.  I was all over those!  So with the wonderful technology of GOOGLE READER, I was able to look at all of my fave blogs and keep up with them, comment, or Star them for my future reference.

When Clint and I decided to TTC, of course like all of us, we thought it would be a piece of cake.  (We know that is an EXTEMELY SICK LIE!)  After, a few months with my not so helpful OB/gyn, meeting our great RE, and continuing therapy on a need be basis, I decided I needed to write my feelings.  I have almost always kept a journal.  I feel so much better when I can purge my thoughts onto paper or now type them out.  It is my own therapy session and starting my very own blog was so fun.  I found a few pregnancy blogs and then this whole world of IF.  I was home!  I finally felt like y'all truly did know what I was going through.  Until you go through some sort of IF, you have no idea what kind of roller coaster it can be.  You ladies are wonderful!  I have learned so much from you all and have a new appreciation for the fact that I AM NOT ALONE.


2. Pick 3-5 fellow bloggers whom you adore and write what exactly it is you value about that person or their blog. The more you write about them the better. This is a chance to really appreciate your blog friends who have been there with and for you through thick and thin.
Now for my pickies.
1. The Sassy Infertile Lady.  Her blog is straight to the point and a joy to read.  Her and her husband are about to go through IVF and have been approved for the loan and things are looking great for their plan.  Her husband, Mr. Sassy, gave a cameo about his endeavors in IF-land.  It was great to see a guy's perspective as well as H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.  Sassy's blog is a great read and you will be whisked away on their journey to have a little sassy for themselves.
2.Hubby, baby, and me...would make three!  Jill has had an amazing journey with IF.  Her and her husband struggled with IF and they won the battle.They got their precious BFP.  But although, winning the IF battle is glorious, sometimes life throws us curve balls.  Her and her family are going through quite a lot right now and she is showing such strength.  She amazes me. 
3. My sweet friend, Skinny Menny!  She is a fellow healthy nutter and balancer with her life.  She has been with my blog since the first and I have followed her for a while as well.  She is a beautiful woman and for a while has been struggling with where she wanted her life to go.  She wasn't happy with her J.O.B and wanted to do something that she loved.  She went and got her NCSF cert for somewhat of a backup plan.  She loves to be fit and healthy, so why not.  She has just recently got a great job that she loves and although she works a lot, I think this is where she wants and needs to be on her rocky road of life!!
3. Let the blessed winners know they have been awarded.

This was a hard chore for me, since a lot of my faves have either been given this award (for good reason) or I just couldn't choose.  I want everyone to know (who reads this) that you are all valued in my life. Clint's as well, since I can vent to someone other than him.  Ladies, things will work out.  Please don't give up and keep writing because I will keep reading!!!

New Ob/Gyn

Hey lovies!  Happy Friday!  Heck Yeah!  I am thrilled.  I have tomorrow off.  It has been the 1st Saturday I have had off and nothing planned since Thanksgiving weekend.  With the exhaustion of our now blueberry, and me working 12- 13 hour days at the gym, I just want to do NADA!  This is typically not me.  I get stir crazy if we are in the house for too long, but as of now I just want to lay around tomorrow and *gasp* be lazy. (We will see if I can!)

I had been going to a Nurse Practioner Ob/gyn for the last 5 years.  She was a great lady and treated me wonderful.  UNTIL, I wanted to get pregnant.  She gave me two options when we I hadn't started my period in over 60 days after getting of BCP.
1. Eat more and gain weight
or
2. Take injections everyday so that I can ovulate.  At about $2000 a month.

Um, WHAT?  That is it?  You mean there isn't anything in between???  Did I miss a few steps??

We took things into our own hands and contacted the best RE in town.  We met her and she had a step by step plan.  (My kind of lady. )  We went step by step after 11 long months, everything paid off. 

When we met with her on Wednesday to graduate, I asked her if she had any recommendations for great Ob/gyns.  She gave me 3 names that she said were the best.  NICE!  As soon as I got back to work, I set out on researching which of the three were going to be our doctor and get very intimate with.  One of them I couldn't find. SHE WAS SCRATCHED.
The other one has 14 years experience and good reviews.  SHE HAS POTENTIAL.  The last one has 27 years experience and she graduated from the UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA.  SOLD!!!!

In a previous post, I described the team love in our household.  So, I as soon as I saw she went to UofAL, I didn't have to go back to look at the other option. 

I called and made an appt for today at 12:30 to meet with the nurse of my new Ob/gyn.  I got there early to fill out the "fun" new patient info. Of course, I brought a book.  You never know when you can get in a few pages.  The nurse called me back and introduced herself as Judy.  I fell in love with her.  She is funny, calming, and has a little wit.  She has been my doc's right hand woman for 24 years.  That is a good sign.

We went through my history as well as mine and Clint's family history.  Thankfully neither one of us have any things in our families that could warrant potential problems.  She went through all sorts of info.  Which, since I already have my Ph.D in pregnancy related topics and issues, I was aware of everything she was telling me.  We meet the actual doctor in 4 weeks on January 7th to get a pap-smear and some other things done.

She weighed me!!  Honestly, I was ok with whatever the number was going to be.  Ever since I let counting everything go, I have been at peace with things.  I have gained 2lbs of glorious baby weight so far.  Judy said that my doc recommends 20-30lbs. and I am A-OK with this.

After the appt, I had to go downstairs to the lab and get blood drawn.  5 vials of my hard working baby-making blood was gone!  I didn't know when she was going to stop.  Judy also highly recommended me to go to the Health Dept and get the H1N1 shot.  I have teetered on this topic ever since we got pregnant.  I really wasn't sure what I would do.  Since,  I now have a love relationship with Judy, I trusted her and my doc's recommendations.  I hope I don't get sick now.  The ONE time my college softball coach made us get the flu shot, I got sicker than a puppy.  I hope this won't be the case.

Here are some questions for y'all!
Would you be ok switching Ob/Gyns??
Would you get the H1N1, if you haven't already??

Have a lovely weekend!!!

1st Ultrasound

Oh my goodness. Talk about being a NERVOUS NELLIE!  My stomach felt like it was a mix of pregnant nausea and a herd of antelope galavanting around.  Not a good mix, might I add.

Neither one of us slept very well last night.  My mind was going a 100 different directions about what would or could happen today.  Clint was super anxious about it.  That means not a lot of sleep for either of us.

When I tell you that time felt like it stood still today, I am not joking.  Usually, when I have 3 morning clients, time goes pretty quickly.  NOT TODAY.   I kept looking at my watch hoping that 1pm would come quickly and wishing it wouldn't come. 

I went to pick Clint up from work early enough that we went to Subway to get lunch.  Me, being the nervous wreck that I am, could barely stomach the sandwich and Clint had to choke his down.  We were a pair! 

We arrived about 10 minutes early and waited and waited and waited.  We were the ONLY ones in the waiting room.  I brought a book to distract me and Clint was looking at a Sports Illustrated magazine that was on the table.  We waited for a good 30min.  It was TORTURE!!!

FINALLY, they called us back, checked our wrist bands and put us in the u/s room.  I couldn't get my pants off quick enough.  One, because I was nervous and wanted to get it over with.  Two, because I was anxious to see what was in the uti!

The u/s tech that put the vag-cam on my follies last month, was there to do our u/s today.  That was a little comfort since she remembered me.  (Remembered me or my uterus?  Who knows?)  Vag-cam starts the show and we see the MOST GLORIOUS LITTLE SAC AND MAKINGS OF A BABY EVER!  I start to cry, OF COURSE.  The tech, starts telling us what we are seeing and points at what looks like a blinking light.  IT WAS THE HEARTBEAT!!!  She turned up the dopplar and we got to HEAR IT!!!  I have never heard a sweeter sound in my life, which brings oon more tears. 

We go out to meet our RE and and before she comes in it hits me.  We are really pregnant.  It is real.  Tears start to come and I was full of such happiness I can't express it.  Our doc comes in to say everything looks great and see if we have any questions. We really didn't since we have our Masters in baby books and websites.  She gave me some of the best Ob/gyn's she new and said that we didn't need to come back to see her. We graduated from RE school.

I made an appt today with one of the doctors she referred me to for a consultation sort of thing on Friday.  Yay!!

We will be 7 weeks tomorrow, are measuring at 5.4 mm, and are on our way to blueberry status. 

We are due July 29, 2010.

We are about to go tell my brother.  We can't wait anymore.  I think we are going to start letting the cat out of the bag. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK??  WHEN WOULD YOU TELL??
I always thought I would be able to wait, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  We have been waiting too long for this miracle of ours!!!

Busy bee eats food.

Hi there bloggy friends.  Do you ever start writing a post and really have no idea what you are going to write about???  That is me today my dears.  I don't have a clue what direction this will take, so be prepared. 

I had a very busy weekend.
Saturday-Clean house, work 10-1pm, Xmas party that me, my mom, and sis help run each year 4-11:30pm
Sunday-church, nap, Baby shower, shop some with my mom, meeting at church.

I am starting off the week tired.  Although being tired seems to be a common symptom for me, I am even more tired from this weekend and because I didn't sleep very well last night.  I kept dreaming about our u/s on Wednesday.  I dreamed we were having twins too!  Scary.  We shall see though. 

I am extremely nervous about the appt though.   A couple of my pregnant friends are going through some scary things with their babies health right now and I, of course, start thinking of everything that can go wrong.  I know that is not good for me or the baby, but hey it is a reality. 

Let's talk a little nutrition.  I have always been very dilgent in keeping up with my calories, fat, protein, and carbs through Sparkpeople.  It has kept me in check to get to a comfortable baby carrying weight.  I am slightly OCD and put in everything I eat everyday as well as my exercise. 

According to all of the literature, once you are pregnant, you keep your calories about the same the 1st tri, increase 300 calories the 2nd tri, and up to 500 extra calories the 3rd tri.

I am going to talk to my RE Wednesday when we meet with her and ask her what she thinks I should do.  I am on the low end of the "normal" BMI.  I also came to the conclusion that I am NOT going to track what I eat anymore.  It has become a hassle and a controlling factor.  Days when I am not hungry, I HAVE to eat because I HAVE to his those calories.  It becomes forced and not fun.  Other days when I am starving, I don't eat that extra snack because I HAVE to stay within my calorie range.  Hungry+Courtney+Angry=HANGRY. 

I am done.  I am packing lots of food for my LONG days at work and when I am hungry I will eat and I won't when I am not.  I am not going to go overboard and eat at every fast food place and eat cartons of ice cream.(well maybe on occasion!  I did crave a McDonald's sausage biscuit Saturday, although I let it just be a craving and didn't go through with it.)  I just know that this is a time for me to nourish this baby and myself.  I will pick foods that I can stomach and that appeal to me.  I'm going to trust my doctors and listen to what THEY want me to do to ensure the healthiest baby possible.

I am so content and happy about this decision and this weekend, went really well putting it in to practice.

What do you think you girls will do, are doing, or have done about pregnancy nutrition???

On another food for thought moment.  What is your opinion of women drinking wine while pregnant??
At the Xmas party on Saturday, a woman who is about 10 weeks was drinking wine.  It kind of threw me for a loopity loop.  I don't agree with it, but was curious as to what you thought!

Have a great day!  Xmas is 18 days away!!!!

Dear Juan,

Dear Juan Valdez,
As much as it pains me to do this, I need to break up with you!  You have been like air to me for so so so long.  You have carried me through grad school, early morning training clients, and I can forget a little spur of the moment "afternoon delight."

Your smell has always made me swoon, even to the point of walking down the coffee aisle in the grocery store and inhaling deeply at the fresh coffee grinder.  I loved the warm feeling you gave me when I was cold or needed to just comfort myself. 

You have been with me for so long, but it is time to say goodbye.  You see, the little "sweet pea" that is growing and developing so amazingly inside my belly does not like you very much.  "Sweet pea"  gets REAL queasy when I drink your rich roasted goodness.  REAL QUEASY!!  Today for instance, when I walked down the glorious coffee aisleto have a little rendevous with you, the smell of you repulsed me.  I can not take you any longer.  You make me sick!

So with a sad heart, I will say good-bye.  Hopefully, one day we will meet again when I don't feel like vomiting all over you. 
Yours forever,
Happy Mama to be

Updatey date date!

Hi there ladies!  I hope your Tuesday has started out great so far.

Bloodwork update: Well, I received a call from the RE nurse this morning to go over my levels.  According to LMP, we are 5 weeks and 5 days along.  That's unreal!
HCG levels-5,547
Progesterone-27.2 (she said they look for it to be at 20!)
She said both were really good numbers.  We had an appt for in the AM to get another round of bloodwork done, but she said since my numbers were so good that we could just schedule an ultrasound for wait for it...
NEXT WEDNESDAY!!! 
We will be about 6.5 weeks along and according to my Ph.D in google, it is possible to see a heartbeat.  The heartbeat isn't ALWAYS to be seen but there is a chance!  I will try not to get my hopes up.  haha yeah right!

Clint told his immediate boss yesterday, so he will be able to go to most if not all of the appt.  I am going to love him being there with me each time to experience things for the first time together.

Symptom update:  Still exhausted.  I went to sleep on the couch about 8ish last night and after Clint tried to wake me multiple times so we could go get in bed, I slept until 6am.  I could take a nap right now.
I had my first smell thing this morning with a guy who comes into the gym and has this normal mildewy sweat smell.  This morning, I could smell him all the way up to my desk and it made my stomach churn.
I will take all the symptoms in the world!  It is so worth it!!!

MIL update: She decided with our new news and all she doesn't want to intrude on us.  She is probably going to store some stuff in our garage, but she is more than likely getting an apt. with her boyfriend!  We are just glad she is getting out of the situation that she is living in now. 

Have a great day!!!

This and That

Happy 2nd day of leftovers!  I hope everyone's holiday was great.  ON TO XMAS!!!!  I love Xmas.  So excited.  We started decorating yesterday.

Our Thanksgiving was especially full of thanks this year.  We decided to just tell our parents now and everyone else (in real life) around Xmas.  The way it all worked out, each parent was going to be told separately.  Here is each scenario.
1. Clint's mom. She called to wish us Happy T day.  We were thinking of going to see his brother in Bowling Green, KY that night, but decided against it.  She asked if we were still going.  Clint grinned at me and said, well Courtney hasn't been feeling all that great.  She asked (in a joking way) "she's not pregnant is she?"  He laughed and said "actually she is!"  She squealed and was ecstatic.
2. Clint's dad.  We went to see him to visit Thursday mid-morning.  He always makes coffee for me when we go visit.  True to form, he made someand let me know it was ready.  Clint said well, she needs to cut back on her caffeine. (pause) For at least the next 9 months.  It took his dad a second and then said "what?'  Are you serious?  Um, yep I sure hope so.  He was so happy.
3. My dad. He is a fireman and was working Thursday.  We went to go visit.  We were in the kitchen chatting with him and a policeman friend of his.  The policeman was talking about being a granddad of 5 (there's my cue!)  I said, "well daddy's going to be."  The policeman said, "are you pregnant?" before it registered with my dad.  He finally said, "are you?"  I just grinned and shook my head yes.  He started to tear up.  Adorable.
4. My mom.  She is one tough cookie.  I wanted it to be perfect telling her.  It was going to be hard since the whole fam was around.  After we eat each year, we write a gift we want on a piece of paper to draw names.  That is always full of commotion and laughter at what everyone wants.  Anyway, each year she wants a written out list of what we want so she can shop for us.  Bless her heart.  I told her I had our list up in the bonus room and we went up to get it.  I had her read the list so she could ask questions about things.  She read over Clint's with minimal questions and then went to mine. She asked a couple of questions and then got to the word "DIAPERS."  She read it out loud and read it out loud again.  "What do you need diapers for?"  Then she looked at me  finally and said "Are you pregnant?"  She hugged me and started to cry.  Success!

All were a complete success and couldn't have went better.

We did go shopping Black Friday.  One of the malls in Nashville opened up at midnight.  So we decided what the heck.  I went home to take a nap and took out on our adventure.  We shopped for a couple hours and were feeling wide awake.  Although, let me tell you the whole time I was nauseous.  Yep, symptom one!  We went to another area of shops and finally got home about 6:45AM!!!  I still can't believe we did that.  We got A LOT of shopping done and are just about done shopping.

CONFESSION:  I took another test today.  I know I took 2 on Wednesday, but I had this uneasy feeling.  It was a digital and read PREGNANT.  I was at peace then.

 I am so excited for bloodwork on Monday.  We got 4 books about pregnancy and I am a reading machine, so of course I have been reading them, but Clint is really not a reader.  He got a Father to be book and Pregnancy for Dummies and has been reading it and reading to me. It is so amazingly adorable! 

I have loved spending time with him these past two days.  Our relationship has always been super strong, but this weekend it went to another closeness.  I love him!!!

HOW WERE YOUR HOLIDAYS??? 
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU ATE??

Thankful Thanksgiving Thursday!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I hope everyone has a great day and you have plenty of family to spend with, larger pants to change into when the ones you are wearing are too tight,  and possibly some drama.  What's a holiday without some Drama!!

In loo of T-giving, I am going to list some things I am thankful for.  I had to put some pictures in!

1. Of course, the man in my life and My Baby's Daddy!! (Still weird to wrap my curly hair around!!)

2.  Our fur-kids!

3.  My Families.(I didn't want to put them on on the blog, because they don't know about it.)
4.  Our health!
5.  YOU LADIES!!!  I wouldn't make it without y'all being in my life everyday.
6.  Carrying on the tradition of spending Black Friday with Clint, shopping and people viewing.
7.  There are many many other things, but this life we have conceived.  I am overwhelm with thanks and gratitude.  Concieving is such a miracle with the small window of opportunity.  We feel very very blessed.  (Clint has already been reading up on things and making sure I am getting my vitamins and fiber!  Gotta love him. He is going to be a GREAT daddy.)
It has been a long, rocky road (not the icecream) and I am now scared SH*&less.  There are so many new worries.  I am going to try not to dwell on them.  We are telling our parents today and am looking forward to their reactions. We are holding out to tell everyone else until Xmas-time.  Won't that be fun.  At least we got our turkey baking!!!

Have a great Thanksgiving day.  What are you thankful for???

Dun Dun Dun.....

So this morning was the day.  Either I am pregnant or I call the RE to get prometrium to start my period.  I was honestly thinking that I would be making the call at 8am this morning to get a prescription.  I wanted to get on to the next cycle.

I had to be up at 4:15am and I walked to the bathroom and did the fabulous POAS.  I am becoming a pro, let me tell you!  I went to go make some coffee and walked back in there I guess a couple min later.  I looked twice because it had 2 pink lines!!!!!!

I waited until I had to pee again like 30 min later to take a more expensive test.  I didn't want to wake Clint unless I had too.  I sat on the toilet and musterd up as much as I could and took that test.  Not a minute later, I saw 2 pink lines!!!!

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!
I went and woke Clint up and asked if he "was ready to be a daddy?"  It took him a second, but it registered!  He was grinning like a ChesireCat.  I started to cry and he hugged me!  I am still in shock.  I was starting to think it was on to #11.  Nope.  After ten very long cycles, we did it. 

I called the RE and I go in to get bloodwork Monday morning. 

Thank you ladies for all of your support, well wishes, and baby dust!   I am sending it all your way!
I hope you don't stop reading my blog.  I will continue to talk about all the bumps (no pun intended!) in Clint and I's life!  Thank you again!  I couldn't have gotten through without you!

We got our turkey!!! 

14 DPO

I tested this morning and it was a BFN!  There is no sign of AF either.  I called the RE to ask what to do and she said to wait until CD 35 and test again.  (That will be Wednesday.)  If it is yet another BFN, then they will start me on Prometrium to start my period.  I am frustrated at my body.  I thought i was finally functioning normally.  Geez, can I get a break please. 

Of course, I am sad, but I'm still trying to keep a little window of hope open! 

Please be thinking AF or BFP!!  Thanks ladies!!

I suppose this is update part 2?

Hello lovies!  I hope your week has been spectacular.  If it hasn't it is O.V.A!  Thanksgiving is next week.  Woot woot chica chica! (Don't mind the little mixology!)  I LOVE  Thanksgiving, well its third to Christmas and my birthday! 

When Clint and I started dating, T-giving and holidays for that matter got STRESSFUL.  I'm talking I was wound so tight I could put coal up my butt and make gold!  We were getting in 3 families in 2 days.  It hasn't been about being thankful and spending QT with fam.  It has been hurry up and eat SOME, so we can hurry up and eat SOME more in a coupld of hours. 

My family is UBER traditional to a very extreme extent.  ANY change is looked down upon on holidays.  This was a pebble in our road at first.  We tried to make everyone happy, EXCEPT US! 

This year, the 2 of the families wanted to do it at 4pm.  We came to a decision of alternating T-giving day with one side.  We will go see Clint's dad earlier that day, but he is the least stressful to visit of anyone!  I did and still do feel guilty as it will be my family's turn this year.  I feel guilt because 8 out of 10 times Clint sacrifices his time with his fam for my traditionally psychotic one! We see my fam once a week at church and if need be they live 4 min down the road. (Clint bought the house before we started dating.)  He gets to see his fam on special occasions. 

I am definately less stressed about that day though which is a blessing.  My mom "seemed" ok with our decision.  Well, to my face.  Who knows what she truly feels! She is a VERY private mama.

Speaking of traditions, do y'all participate in dun dun dun........

Clint and I do.  We love it. We get up at the butt crack of doom day and get out in the craziness.  We never have a list or something special to go for.  We just go to go.  It has become our tradition and special time together.  Not a lot of couples can shop together, especially at 4AM!  We actually look forward to watching the crazies get all flustered and agitated over a something like a memory card or tv.

After we get back from shopping and laughing at people, (its a hobby I know y'all can relate to!)  we start putting up XMAS decor!!  (Woot woot chica chica)  LOVE LOVE LOVE.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving??  Does each member bring a dish to the meal or does the host prepare everything??  We divy up responsibilities and bring different dishes.

OK....now for 2 important things.  My mother in law is moving in yes.  She has been packing up her stuff and getting it all together to be bringing it supposedly on Monday.  One of you asked it I am ok with this??  Neither one of us are EXCITED about it.  It will be different and change the house dynamic as well as me having to put clothes on to walk around, BUT we came to the decision that we have NO reason not to let her move in.  We are blessed to be able to have a room for her and financially sustain her until she gets back on her feet.  We plan on having an intervention you might say with her about what her plans are for a job and how long she plans on staying.  We have to set ground rules.  Although, Clint and I will talk about things before hand, I let him know that it is not my place to tell his mom what to do.  He, by and large, will be the one to lay down the law.  I am ok with that!

****WARNING....Be prepared for TMI!!!*****  DON'T READ UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY INNARDS.

Next on the agenda, I am 12 DPO today.  The past 4 days I have had pink CM.  Not enough to get on the undies, but still there.  It stopped last night-ish.  I have made myself crazy trying to figure it out and I have decided I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON!!  I don't think it was a period, but I don't know if it was implantation bleeding    My LP is typcially 13-14 days, so I dunno.  ANY IDEAS??

WHEN SHOULD I TEST??
I have had such a good feeling about this cycle.  Well, until the pinkish goo.  Then last night when it had stopped I got exctied again. My temp has been up and steady.  I am scared to test to be honest.  I don't want to go on to #11!!  Although, I will get through it, if I must, with y'alls and Clint's help. 

WOW....this was a long one! I guess I should post more often.  When I start typing my little phalanges just don't quit.

Have a GREAT Saturday.  Any fun plans???

Ramblin's part 1

Let me just start off by saying Thank you ladies so much for being my support system.  I tell Clint about all the great things you girls say and he told me the other day, "its like your own little therapy session."  He is so WISE!  Y'all are amazing and I feel so blessed to have such good blog-friends. 

In church, Sunday morning, one of the points that our preacher said that really hit home to me was he was talking about his bypass surgery he just had about 6 weeks ago.  He said he didn't know why he had to go through it and might not ever know, but now he knows what it feels like to go through it and he can help someone else. 

I just sat (completely zoning our for the rest of the sermon) and started to think of all us dealing with IF issues.  We might not know why the heck WE have to deal with this Big Ugly Zit on our butts, but we are all getting through it together!  We are helping each other deal with the stresses, the waits, the emotional ROLLER COASTERS, and the all around jealousy towards other mom's to be.  IF is not an easy thing to deal with, BUT with this supportive community, it does ease it quite a bit.

Here's a question!  WHY ARE WE SO AFRAID OF TALKING ABOUT IT IN REAL LIFE?? 

Honestly, we are afraid.  A lot of women deal with it, yet we have no idea that someone dear and in arms length is going through this tramatic time.  For me, it is that I feel I am a failure at doing the one thing I was put on this earth to be.  A mama!  To procreate the earth and show so much love to a child that the love of my life and I CREATED together. 

I feel like it should be easy to get pregnant.  Well, that is what is beat into our heads as teenagers that you have sex ONE time and whammo slammo you are knocked up.  And for some Fertile Mertiles that reigns true, but for some (Cough* us Cough* )  it comes downs to perfect timing, little sticks that you pee on all through out the month(and let's be honest, trying not to pee on your hand), taking your temp at ungodly hours, needles, spreadsheets, and lord knows what else, just to get pregnant.  Holy bu-jeezy it is E.X.A.U.S.T.I.N.G.

What are your reasons for your blog???

Ending on a happier note, my bloggin buddy, JC gave me this fab award.

So the rules for Kreativ Blogger are:

1. List 7 things about myself others might not know.

2. Award 7 people with the award.

My 7 things.
1.  I am terrified of squirrels.  Yeah silly I know, but I don't like mice/rats either and they remind me of mice with big tails.
2. I get in food ruts.  I will eat something EVERY DAY, until I get tired of it.
3. Clint and I didn't want to say "I love you" around our families at first so we said "Reeses Pieces."  We had them as favors for our wedding reception.

4. I secretly would like to have TWINS.  Although, I would DEFINATELY like one for now.  Pretty please.
Not so much a secret now.

5. If or when I retire from Personal Training (let's face it, how many 60 year old trainers do you see around?  Exactly) I want to work in a bookstore or library.
6. If I had lots of $$$$, I would want a closet just for shoes and purses!
7. If I pass a mirror, I HAVE to look at myself.  I can't help it.  I am vain I suppose.
Thank you, JC for this award! I am blown away!



Tag you are it.....
Hubby, Baby, and me.....,  Bee in the Bonnet, Stefanie, The Sassy Infertile Lady, Jaime, Menden, Tasha
, My girl, EGG


Alright ladies.  Your turn!

P.S. My next post will be about the MIL moving in.  I didn't want to overwhelm your corneas!

It's Official

After a few months of not being sure,  but leaving the door open, it is official.  MIL is going to start moving her stuff in Monday.  She is moving in to our house.

That is all for now.

Could it be any slower??

Hey there fabulous ladies.  It is Thursday and almost the weekend!  Heck yeah. I love the anticipation to the weekend. Even if we have nothing planned. 

Y'all have any crazy plans this weekend??

It has come time.......dun dun dunnnnnnnn

The 2WW.  Yeppers!  According to my friend, which I tend to have a love hate relationship with.  My O date was give or take 3 days ago.  Now this is not 100% accurate because we all know we don't walk around with a va-jay-jay cam to get a play by play.  Hmmm??  Well, that would surely be interesting.  We have taken care of business, and for the heck of it will continue or business building strategy, and now we wait. 

That might seem like an easy thing to do, but um YEAH RIGHT!!!  Are you crazy?  These past few days have been creepin along like a snail.  Its the 2 week wait of HELL!  Not to mention, I have also had these crazy lower right side abdomen pains.  They come and go and yesterday for about 5 seconds this one pain literally made me jump out of my seat.  I have N.E.V.E.R felt this before.  Of course I googled the shista out of it and got nothing.  So who knows, what my psychotic bod is up to.  I am hoping and praying for the best though!

Here is my game plan for the next 11 days or so.

1. Stay busy.  Cleaning the house, having a dinner party, hanging out with my fab hubs and friends.
2. Continue to take my BBT in the am.  (This relieves me mind!)
3. Get some exercise in.  (Not too much or too hard core.  Just enough to ease my sanity.)
4. Read.  Definately a great distraction.
5. Read blogs of course.

Any other bright ideas you got, please enlighten me. 

You lovely ladies have a great Thursday and I will update ya later!!

Releasing an egg and a burden!

We are back!  It it was such a GREAT GREAT weekend.  There have started to become this group of young adults, mostly marrieds, that we have been hanging out with at church.  We decided in the summer to go on a retreat sometime in November.  Really just to get away and know each other better. 

Clint and I were a little apprehensive about going because as much as we love these people, we don't have a heck of a lot in common with them.  So we weren't exactly sure how it was going to go.

Highlights of the weekend.
Friday, I took off work and got things ready and Clint just got off early that day.  We start up to the place and were called by one of the guys to tell us the directions were wrong that he gave us and he had the correct ones.  Ok.  That's cool.  We weren't too far off the mark.  Well, long story short, a 2 hour trip turned into a 3.5-4 hour Tour! 

Um yeah!  One of mine a Clint's "things" is directions.  The way I read them isn't the way he needs to hear them.  I have learned through crying/mad trial and error that he just needs the basic directions like what exit to get off and hwy etc.  I read the directions EXACTLY how they are written.  We are learning. 

We didn't do too bad on this 3 hour tour, but we did get frustrated a wee bit!  For obvious reasons. 

Anyway, we got there safe and sound to this place. Although, the leaves have turned and are off most of the trees, it was an amazing place and everyone got there finally later that night after EV.ER.Y.ONE got lost.

Saturday morning we had a big breakfast and a devotional with an amazing video and makes you realize just how small you are in this universe.  Definatley pulled at the heart strings when it went into detail just how precious that moment is when life is produced.  YEAH I GOT THAT THANKS. 

We had not told anyone about what has been going because 1. we didn't want to take away from all of the couples that drank the water and got pregnant recently and 2. we didn't want the pity card pulled.  It was very very hard to keep it together during that part of the video.

One of the guys wanted us to go around the room and say (if you wanted) something that you need prayers for.  All Clint and I had to do was look at each other and we knew it was time.  The time was right, the trust was there with the small group in attendance.  It was time.

It got to Clint and he said, "Courtney and I have been struggling with something in our life since January...."  My husband LOST it.  He is the strong one!  He is my pillar and to see him lose it was (this might be bad) comforting.  To see how this is really affecting him made it easier on me.  Although, I KNOW he is struggling, it is so good to see it on the outside.  I fell in love with him more.  I gathered myself and told everyone what was going on and there was not a dry eye in the room.  One of the guys said, "can we stop right now and pray for y'all?!"  Um yes please and thank you.  We are an emotional train wreck over here. 

I am so glad we told them.  No one pulled the pity card and we felt so loved by each and every person.  We know that what was said at the retreat was to stay in our circle and just to know that there are 12 other people thinking about us and praying for us is so humbling and I am without words.  (shocker!)  I can come up with a few though!!!

We realized that we can't do this alone anymore.  I love you girls that read my ramblings and y'all are so supportive, but to actually have someone hug you and say "I wish I would have known sooner, so I could have gave you a listening ear or a hug"   is priceless. 

The best thing though is that because there were some single girls, that were on the trip, the guys and girls were split up (we had issues about this, but some people in the group were uncomfortable). That's for another post. We "kind of" let them know that this week was "Prime time game time" and that's why we had our own room.  They were complete supportive in this.  We took advantage. (wink wink)

Clint and I are so blessed.  We have so many people in our lives that love us and want us to be parents.  It was such a great weekend and a much needed emotional release. It brought me closer to these wonderful people AND to my amazing husband. 

You might not feel comfortable telling people in real life of your IF issues and that's fine.  You can do what is right for y'all, BUT it was time for us and it was better than we hoped.  It's not just us dealing with this anymore, but we have a real life support group.  A huge burden was lifted from us.  You will just "know" if and when the time comes to open up about your struggles.  People WANT to know that they aren't the only ones who feel like they are carrying the world on their shoulders.  It not only helps you get that burden off your shoulders, but it takes the focus off of your problems and focusing on someone's elses problems.  Everyone is struggling and hurting with something in their lives, you just have to be open and accept help.

Have a great week!!

Sunny days

 After my day yesterday as Upset Urma, fuming, having a good cry, and talking with Clint, I feel so much better. Today, I had the mentality of

Yes, that is a glass half FULL!

What do I have to be positive polly(thanks Devon) about?

I HAD 3 growing follicles yesterday!  3!  The odds this cycle are that much better.  I only had one last cycle.  My CM is looking productive and I am going to jump my husbands bones as much as I can!!! Not that he will object.

I REFUSE to dwell on the things I can't control.  I WILL NOT let negative thoughts overtake me and my relationship with Clint.  That ugly negative monster creeped into my body the other night.  I fell asleep and felt guilty the next morning because "we missed an opportunity"!  I NEVER wanted to be like that.  I don't want our sex life to be some calculated task. 

I CHOOSE to accept the positive in today and be happy in the moment. 

We are going on a Couples Retreat tomorrow  for the weekend and I will take lots of pictures to show and tell.  It will be great to get away and relax.

Have a great weekend loves!!!

3x15

Hey ladies.  So, usually I have a pretty postive rosy outlook on this infertility situation. 

NOT TODAY!!!

Today, I am STR.UGG.LING!!! We (Clint got to go with me this time!) had a cycle day 14 ultrasound this morning to see the size of my follicle(s).  Last month, my follie was all by its lonesome.  Today, I have 3 on my right size at 15.  That's great!!!  That increases the odds for ovulating this month.  The NP brought us back to discuss the follies and wanted me to come back in on Friday to see if they have increased.

(Now, is were Upset Urma comes into play)  I went to check out and Clint went to check his missed calls from work.  The check out lady?  or whatever her title is, scheduled me for 8:30 Friday morning, which is great since we are going out of town on a Couples Retreat this weekend.  Then, she crushes my world without even knowing it.  She said, so this is marked under "INFERTILITY" and insurance won't cover it any longer so you owe ______ much"  (^%*&(*()%$$&^()*^%$%^%&)  I swallowed the rock in my throat and wrote the check.  I walk out to Clint and notice I am biting my lip to keep from crying.  It hit me like a ton of bricks that we are in fact (according to insurance standards) under the INFERTILITY section.  Which means we are no longer being helped out by them.  DONE!  They are washing their hands of us.

Clint is so much more positive than I am about this and he said at least you can blog about this.  (I couldn't bring myself to talk about it right then.)  I am really having a hard time because we are actually now LABELED!  It was just a thought in the back of my mind, but this morning it was out in full blazing glory. 

It is hitting me just how much control we don't have over this.  We could start shelling out money for monthly ultrasounds and one day if need be IUI or IVF, but we don't want it to go that far.  We have decided that we will continue to do Clomid for as long as safely possible, buy OPK's each month, and have sex as much as we want.  That leaves it up to God to make it happen.  That in itself is very humbling and VERY hard;  To let go and let God.


We will try for a couple of years(I pray it doesn't come to that!) and then we are going to look into adoption.  There comes a time where we feel, it is in God's hands and His timing.  What ever that may be.
 
Thanks for reading this and letting me get this off of my chest.  This blog is so special to me because I can't say this to people in real life.  They just don't understand. 
 
I hope you are having a great hump day!!

The fall of the leaves!

Well, good morning!  Yesterday, we were supposed to go visit Clint's mom, but plans fell through.  We will see her this week sometime to celebrate her upcoming Bday.

I love the fact that I can write about whatever I want on this blog.  I made it a broad name because my mind goes 872 different directions in a matter of minutes and I wanted to be able to write about whatever was going on in my life that was "worth it".

I think going through trials and tribulations in life does make you stronger.  I would rather have gone through those rough times that not.

On Friday, I went to therapy.  I haven't been in I think 8 weeks.  It was great to see T.  She is wonderful at what she does.  We were talking about where my life has gone in the year I have been seeing her.  I am a completely different person than I was a year ago.  I was a selfish person, claiming not to be.  Having an ED not specified is, to me, selfish.  I was so absorbed in myself and thoughts about exercising, eating so much protein, and fighting the urge to overeat because my body was crazing food. 

Sure, I wanted a baby, but I weas terrified of changing my body.  It was all about me.  I think that God was showimg me humilty.  He was showing me that I WAS NOT HEALTHY ENOUGH.  As a personal trainer, you have this persona to obtain.  People are always looking at you by what you do or put in your mouth.  That turned into an unhealthy situation.

Making the decision to get healthy was very hard.  I struggled with it each day.  It wasn't until the R.E. said that my hormone levels were good and my weight was at a happy place did I realize what I had done and who I was thinking about.  ME!

A year later, and my priorities have COMPLETELY shifted.  I want a baby badly and if I need to eat a cupcake I will.  I might thing "oh dear goodness, I know how many calories that has!" but if it is for the hope of a baby then bring on the cuppycakes!

I know in my heart that this journey will be worth every struggle and tight pants day.  I know that I am in a place in my life and my body that I am physically able to carry a baby if/when we conceive.

WAS IT WORTH IT??
~Yes, it was.  I might have done some things differently, but those struggles have made me the person I am now.  I am ready to be a mama, I am able to be a mama.  An unselfish person, trying, with the help of my husband, raise a child in this world.

Instead of our plans yesterday, my husband declared Sunday afternoon not a day of rest and football, but of rakes, leaves, and blowers(not that kind!)  We raked some of the yard and let me tell you,  IT SUCKED!!
I have a deeper appreciation for him doing it all by himself last year.  After an hour, I was done.  Luckily so was he.  Here are some pictures to document my helping of the leaf extraction from our yard.

PREPARATION MODE! HE ACTUALLY LOOKS EXCITED!

PART OF OUR BACKYARD.  DOESN'T IT LOOK BEAUTIFUL??  IT IS SURELY NOT AFTER PILING THEM UP AND SWEATING LIKE A MAN IN A SAUNA.

I PRETENDED TO BE BADA$$.  USING THIS THINGS MAKES YOUR HANDS TINGLE.

MY ATTEMPT TO KILL THE LEAVES AND MAKE THEM SUFFER.  I SUFFERED MORE.

MY MAN SHOWING THE LEAVES WHO IS BOSS!

ARE WE DONE YET??  WE ONLY GOT A CORNER DONE??  WHAT THE &^&&^&*&((*)(*)(^^%%&???

SHE WAS NOT VERY HAPPY WITH DADDY!  BUT SHE LOOKS SO DARN CUTE.

That was a memorable November 1.  Next year, I am putting a net under the trees to catch the beautiful little turds before they hit the ground.  I have learned my lesson.  Thank you Mr. Clint for teaching me how hard it is to rake leaves. 

Have a great day!!!!

Halloween Town

Happy Day after Halloween!  I hope everyone's Hallow's Eve was great.

We didn't hand out candy tonight.  I know bad cititzens that we are.  Our neighborhood is a circle, which would be a great Trick-or-Treating experience for the little tikes, BUT it is full of hills and our houses are set back into woods.  Not the best!

After training a client and getting a little cardio in myself, Clint and I came home and lounged.  I took over an hour nap.  That is just crazy for me!  I have been working a lot more lately and I guess my body decided it was time she took the reins.

I had to get rested up for this!

One of my husband's fun money spends is partial season tickets to the Nashville Predators.  With our "plan" we get to pick the seats we want for each game. So for a great game we sit lower to the rink and the not so hot games we sit up a bit higher. 

When we first starting dating, I had no idea about hockey.  Well except for these guys.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6e/Mighty_ducks.jpg

Weren't those great movies.  It is one of those movies that you want to go do after you watch it, then you realize you are idiot if you think you can just pick up this sport.  HA.  I like my teeth thank you very much.  As my mom would say, "we spent a lot of month on that mouth."  Yeah I know!

Needless, to say I knew nothing.  Even to the point to where I would be people watching (Now that is my type of sport!) and actually miss goals because I wasn't paying a lick of attention.  And apparently there is this zone that Clint gets in while the puck is in play.  I would ask questions during this zone time.  Umm....no maam.  That's a no-no.  He isn't mean about it at all thank goodness, its just he doesn't hear me.  So I either figure out for myself or wait until the play is over to ask questions. 

I have gotten to now where I really enjoy it. Especially the fights.  I am a girly girl at heart and I get so excited when they start hitting.  I scream and hoop and holler, when normally I clap here and there. 

Last night there were so many people dressed up for the holiday.  We saw "blind refs", this guy was sitting right behind us. (no not the real Will Ferrell)

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contributor/1800019430/photo/970429259

There were cute litte kids dressed up trick or treating around the arena and people wearing things that are ONLY acceptable on Halloween.  Well, maybe they shouldn't be.

We are not huge costume people so we dressed up like this.

Not especially festive, but cute!!

We are off to church this morning and then visiting MIL.  Her birthday is this week, so we are going to spend some time with her.  Have a great Sunday. 

P.S.  I am on CD11 and nothing really to discuss, except my libido is in extreme high gear.  At least the husband can and wants to keep up. (wink wink!)

Hurry up and wait.

Hey there.  Good morning to you all.  It feels more like the afternoon to me since I have been up since 4:15am to train a client.  Sometimes the job has its perks and sometimes eh, not so much. 

I am really not sure where this post is going to go.  I really don't have a lot of neato-schmeato things going on as of the last 3 days.  But, let's see.  Maybe I can drum up some excited from my neck of the woods.

I don't know about anyone else that is TTC, but I CAN NOT GET BABY STUFF OFF THE BRAIN!!  If I'm not thinking about practicing getting pregnant, envying someone who is, or wondering what it will be like to see 2 PINK LINES, I am continuing my education on Google Ed., on The NEST or The BUMP, or reading blogs.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.  I am well on my way to being Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.  (totally joking!!)

I am driving myself bonkers.  And all of this waiting.  PLEASE! 

I just finished my last day of my 2nd round of CLOMID 100mg.  It made me considerably more sleepy.  Good thing I took it at night!  Genius genes.

Now we WAIT.....AGAIN.......for Nov. 4th when I go see if the size of my follicles is up to codes.  I am trying to keep myself busy though.

HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF BUSY, COURTNEY??
~Well, since I was asked.  I READ.  A LOT.  I probably read about 2 books a week on average. 

HOW DO YOU HAVE THE TIME TO READ THAT MUCH?
~Most people aren't aware of this, but gyms aren't ALWAYS busy.  Actually, the number of people who come to "sweat our their meanness" (g-ma saying)  dwindles after lunch and people trickle in or not at all.  This is when I read.  I can get in a couple of good hours worth of reading in this time and others that may allow it.

WHAT DO YOU READ??
~Mostly fiction.  Romance fiction.  Some biographies(if they appeal to me).  Blogs count?  Yep.  Right now I am reading a Nora Roberts collection about the MACGREGOR FAMILY.  There are love stories of each member of this clan and how they are all connected.  I love to find out what happens to the "supporting actors."  Don't you wonder, either in books or movies, "well what happens next?"  Do they get married, have kids?  I NEED DETAILS.


WAIT.....YOU WORK IN A GYM.  YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WORK OUT ALL DAY???
~Um. NO!  Trying to get pregnant here, HELLOOOOO.  Lifting weights lowers your body fat, and cardio burns the fat.  I need to hold onto what I've got to have enough hormones to function as a girl should.  Although, I do do cardio for about 30min 3-5 days a week.  This is to keep up my stamina some, plus it KEEPS ME SANE.  I do not do well, without some sort of exercise.  Clint welcomes a wife with happy emotions not one with head biting off tendencies.

WHAT KEEPS YOU BUSY WHEN YOU ARE WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN?


Onto other news, I wrote in another post how I LOVE me some pumpkin.  Well, my mom gave me a couple of little pumpkins to do with whatever.  Since, we already carved our pumkins this past weekend, I decided I would bake them and have fresh pumpkin for my daily dose of oatmeal goodness. 

I got on the web and research the temperature and method of baking the said pumpkins.  There were quite a few ways.

My way.
1. Cut them in half and scrape them out.  (save the seeds if you want, so you can roast them.)
2. Put about 1/2 in water in a baking dish and place the halves (flat side down) into the dish.
3. Put in oven at 375 degrees for about 45 min.  May be longer or shorter.  Keep an eye on it.
4. You will know when it is done, if you smell a little bit of burning(not that that happened to me) or if they collapse.
5.  Take out and take of the skin (it just peeled off for me) and let cool.
6.  Put in air tight container and refridgerate.

My thoughts on the amazing baking pumpkin experience.  Honestly, it was too much trouble, and tasted kind of off.  I would much rather my sweet friend LIBBY.  She NEVER fails me.

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO BAKE PUMPKINS? 
ANY WAYS TO MAKE IT BETTER?

Pumpkin Extravaganza

Good MORNING!!!  I am sitting in my pj's this morning (mismatched of course) trying to figure out where to start this post.  We can get the fun stuff out of the way.

Friday night, after I got off of work we got Subway on the go and made it to the 7:55pm showing of

(picture from http://www.cinemaverdict.com/)

This movie was pretty funny.  Vince Vaughn is in typical Vince Vaughn humor.  The relationship building was dead-on for each couple.  I won't ruin any parts for you if you haven't seen it yet.  I was surprised at the beginning of the movie though and wasn't sure if I was going to make it through.  GO SEE IT.  Or wait until it hits REDBOX(best thing ever!)

Saturday, I went to work and Clint came with me.  (I LOVE THAT!) I trained a couple of clients and did some sweaty-beast cardio and we called it a day.  Why would you call it a day so early??  Well because we had RIBS soaking in a crockpot ready for him to devour and the biggest rival of the season was playing a 2:30pm.

ALABAMA vs. TENNESSEE

Typcially, I piddle around the house a bit and read while watching the games, because us women can multi-task like nobody's biznaz. 

Towards the end we (meaning Clint) was getting a wee bit nervous that TN would come back.  In a .4 sec last chance to kick a field goal, AL blocked another kick.  Making the score 12-10. YIPEEE!!!  Otherwise our house would have been a tidbit full of tension.  Problem avaded.

The we decided to have the 1st ever (I am still surprised we have never done this!) 

PUMPKIN CARVING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

He is really trying to get his creative juices flowing.

Still, lettin them flow.........

And because Mr. Clint thought it would help him in drawing the perfect pumpkin face, he decided to put me into the laundry basket.  Yeppers, those are my legs hanging out!!!

Our finished products!!!!! Can you tell who carved which????

Oh, also during the game yesterday while piddling, reading, and watching I put this together.

Every time I go to a baby tea/shower I make this for the mom to be.  They are always different, but typically the same concept.  This one has 40 diapers individually rolled to make each tier.  Isn't that the cutest thing?!?!  Needless to say I went to a baby tea yesterday.  In case you don't know what a tea is ( I think its a Southern thang!)  It is for a couple of hours and people come and go.  There are usually snacks, cake, sugar, and all of the presents are opened when they are recieved and then displayed on tables for everyone to gauk at. 

Now, we get into the emotional stuff I am dealing with...........

Yesterday morning, getting ready for church,  I was the director of "How many outfits will Courtney try on!"

It was a long long production!  Although, I am not gaining any more weight, all of my clothes are fitting different because well when you stop lifting weights to increase your body fat% your muscles starts to say SAYONARRA!!!!  Well, mine is waving GOOD-BYE!!!  I fought tears all morning.  I had my makeup on already and I was NOT re-doing.  I was quiet all the way to church in fear of losing it. 

Clint had to help with communion so, I sat behind my family (my family pew has 10-12 people on it every Sunday and Clint and I were tired of being sardines!) by myself waiting on him to come sit after he was finished.  During the "meet and greet" my daddy came over and said, "Have I told you how proud I am of you and how much I love you?"  He starts tearing up.  Hold on buddy!!  You better dry up those tears.  I will NOT lose it in church for goodness sakes. 

THEN my mom comes over and hugs me and asks how I am, and I told her about my movie (well pieces of it, since I was choking back alligator tears!)

For the next 10 MINUTES, I couldn't even sing because every time I opened my mouth, I was afraid I would turn into a Weeping willow and not be able to stop. 

I am just so frustrated and upset.  I want this so badly and yet, God is not ready for us to be pregnant.

I am terrified that some old bitty(perfectly acceptable term!) is going to come up to me and say " I see you have put on a few pounds are you pregnant?!?!"  I might just have to kick gramma in her dentures. 

I keep trying to talk to myself (yeah that could become a problem) that this os going to be worth it.  You are preparing your body....yada yada yada.  For the most part, I tell myself that and it works.  But yesterday it was an all day struggle.

ANY THOUGHTS TO HELP A SISTA OUT???

ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLING WITH THESE TYPES OF THINGS OR BAD BODY VIBES??

So for today, I am going to work on being totally postive on things.  I am day 3 of Clomid and no side affects.  Wait, maybe the mood swings?!  But for all I know a mood swing is a symptom for that some other disease that I will Google.  Google is so addicting!!

Have a great day!