Releasing an egg and a burden!

We are back!  It it was such a GREAT GREAT weekend.  There have started to become this group of young adults, mostly marrieds, that we have been hanging out with at church.  We decided in the summer to go on a retreat sometime in November.  Really just to get away and know each other better. 

Clint and I were a little apprehensive about going because as much as we love these people, we don't have a heck of a lot in common with them.  So we weren't exactly sure how it was going to go.

Highlights of the weekend.
Friday, I took off work and got things ready and Clint just got off early that day.  We start up to the place and were called by one of the guys to tell us the directions were wrong that he gave us and he had the correct ones.  Ok.  That's cool.  We weren't too far off the mark.  Well, long story short, a 2 hour trip turned into a 3.5-4 hour Tour! 

Um yeah!  One of mine a Clint's "things" is directions.  The way I read them isn't the way he needs to hear them.  I have learned through crying/mad trial and error that he just needs the basic directions like what exit to get off and hwy etc.  I read the directions EXACTLY how they are written.  We are learning. 

We didn't do too bad on this 3 hour tour, but we did get frustrated a wee bit!  For obvious reasons. 

Anyway, we got there safe and sound to this place. Although, the leaves have turned and are off most of the trees, it was an amazing place and everyone got there finally later that night after EV.ER.Y.ONE got lost.

Saturday morning we had a big breakfast and a devotional with an amazing video and makes you realize just how small you are in this universe.  Definatley pulled at the heart strings when it went into detail just how precious that moment is when life is produced.  YEAH I GOT THAT THANKS. 

We had not told anyone about what has been going because 1. we didn't want to take away from all of the couples that drank the water and got pregnant recently and 2. we didn't want the pity card pulled.  It was very very hard to keep it together during that part of the video.

One of the guys wanted us to go around the room and say (if you wanted) something that you need prayers for.  All Clint and I had to do was look at each other and we knew it was time.  The time was right, the trust was there with the small group in attendance.  It was time.

It got to Clint and he said, "Courtney and I have been struggling with something in our life since January...."  My husband LOST it.  He is the strong one!  He is my pillar and to see him lose it was (this might be bad) comforting.  To see how this is really affecting him made it easier on me.  Although, I KNOW he is struggling, it is so good to see it on the outside.  I fell in love with him more.  I gathered myself and told everyone what was going on and there was not a dry eye in the room.  One of the guys said, "can we stop right now and pray for y'all?!"  Um yes please and thank you.  We are an emotional train wreck over here. 

I am so glad we told them.  No one pulled the pity card and we felt so loved by each and every person.  We know that what was said at the retreat was to stay in our circle and just to know that there are 12 other people thinking about us and praying for us is so humbling and I am without words.  (shocker!)  I can come up with a few though!!!

We realized that we can't do this alone anymore.  I love you girls that read my ramblings and y'all are so supportive, but to actually have someone hug you and say "I wish I would have known sooner, so I could have gave you a listening ear or a hug"   is priceless. 

The best thing though is that because there were some single girls, that were on the trip, the guys and girls were split up (we had issues about this, but some people in the group were uncomfortable). That's for another post. We "kind of" let them know that this week was "Prime time game time" and that's why we had our own room.  They were complete supportive in this.  We took advantage. (wink wink)

Clint and I are so blessed.  We have so many people in our lives that love us and want us to be parents.  It was such a great weekend and a much needed emotional release. It brought me closer to these wonderful people AND to my amazing husband. 

You might not feel comfortable telling people in real life of your IF issues and that's fine.  You can do what is right for y'all, BUT it was time for us and it was better than we hoped.  It's not just us dealing with this anymore, but we have a real life support group.  A huge burden was lifted from us.  You will just "know" if and when the time comes to open up about your struggles.  People WANT to know that they aren't the only ones who feel like they are carrying the world on their shoulders.  It not only helps you get that burden off your shoulders, but it takes the focus off of your problems and focusing on someone's elses problems.  Everyone is struggling and hurting with something in their lives, you just have to be open and accept help.

Have a great week!!